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There are many myths and misconceptions surrounding domestic abuse. These myths can often invalidate the experiences of survivors and abuse and contribute towards the barriers to leaving domestic violence situation.
Myth 1: If it was that bad, she’d leave – in reality women stay in abusive relationship for different reasons, and it can be difficult for woman to leave an abusive partner
Myth 2: Domestic abuse always involves physical violence – domestic violence does not always include physical violence. Domestic abuse includes incidents and patters of controlling, coercive, threatening, degrading and violent behaviour such as financial abuse, harassing, stalking or digital abuse
Myth 3: Alcohol and drugs make men more violence – alcohol and drugs can make existing abuse worse or be a catalyst for an attack, but they do not cause domestic violence. The perpetrator alone is responsible for their actions
Myth 4: He can be a good father even if he abuses his partner, the parents’ relationship doesn’t have to affect the children – When a child witnesses abuse, this is child abuse, and the effects are traumatic and long-lasting. An estimated 90% of children whose mothers are abused witness the abuse. Between 40-70% of those children are also direct victims of the abuse
Myth 5: She provoked him – Abuse or violence of any kind is never the victim’s fault, there is nothing the victim can do justifies abuse. Responsibility always lies with the perpetrator and them alone.
Myth 6: Women are just as abusive as men - In the majority of cases, domestic abuse is experienced by women and perpetrated by men. In the year ending March 2023, data supplied from police, showed 73.5% of victims were female and 26.5% are male. In England and Wales, a woman is killed by her male partner or former partner every 4 days. Women are more likely than men to experience multiple incidents of abuse and different types of abuse
Myth 7: Women often lie about abuse – False allegations about domestic abuse are extremely rare
Myth 8: Men who abuse women are mentally unwell – there is no research that supports that assertion. Abuse and violence are a choice and there is no excuse for them.
Myth 9: Women are attracted to abusive – Domestic abuse is prevalent throughout society, and it is not uncommon for woman to experience abuse in more than one relationship. There are not always clear red flags and often a perpetrator of domestic abuse is charming and charismatic when they first meet
Myth 10: Men who abuse their partners saw their fathers abuse their mothers – Many people have grown up witnessing domestic people and most will never perpetrate domestic abuse in their own relationship. There is no excuse.
Myth 11: Domestic Abuse isn’t’ that common – In the UK, England Wales, 1 woman is killed by a male partner or ex-partner every week. Domestic abuse has the highest rate of repeat victimisation that other crime. The police record a domestic abuse offence approximately 40 seconds. 1 in 4 women experience domestic abuse since the age of 16.
Myth 12: Domestic abuse is a ‘crime of passion’ – Domestic abuse is rarely about losing control but taking control. They consciously choose when to abuse their partner.
Myth 13: Women are more likely to be attacked by strangers than by those who claim to love them – 9 in 10 rapes against women were carried out by someone they knew. 46.2% of perpetrators are likely to be an intimate partner.
References
https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/articles/domesticabusefindingsfromthecrimesurveyforenglandandwales/yearendingmarch2018
https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/articles/domesticabusevictimcharacteristicsenglandandwales/yearendingmarch2023#:~:text=The%20Crime%20Survey%20for%20England%20and%20Wales%20(CSEW)%20for%20the,for%2060%20to%2074%20years).
https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/bulletins/domesticabuseinenglandandwalesoverview/november2023
https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/bulletins/crimeinenglandandwales/yearendingdecember2023
https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/datasets/sexualoffencesprevalenceandvictimcharacteristicsenglandandwales
https://www.cps.gov.uk/legal-guidance/domestic-abuse